Ramblings and a Life Update

I'm way overdue in posting on here. Again.

I always have the best intentions. It seems that is a common issue in my life. I have the best intentions but I don't always follow through on them. I'm working on that! :)

So, I say to myself, "Okay, you are definitely going to post on your blog every week."  Then 3 weeks go by. 

Then I say, "Well, that's obviously not doable for you. So ok, no pressure. Just post monthly."

Then a few more weeks go by and before I know it, those weeks have turned into months.

The older I get, I feel like my life just keeps speeding up. The weeks go by as fast as a bullet train. Anyone else feel that way?

I think it is the pace of our world. It seems that everyone's lives are so busy. 

Filled with so much. 

With all of our amazing technology, one would think that it would make our lives so much easier, that we could all slow down in some ways.  But, we just seem to fill our lives with more and more.

Living with chronic illness has taught me so much about slowing down. Yes, some days the fatigue, weakness and pain force me to stop and rest. But I have also learned my own limits and I know that in order to avoid major flares, I must pace myself and not overdo every day. With having children, that doesn't always happen. Sometimes I overdo it because they need me. But for those things within my control, I try to not pack my days too full. That means I don't over schedule myself or my family. I do things at my own pace. For instance, I can no longer clean my house all in one day. Also, I can not be out running errands all day and then be able to cook dinner and enjoy time with my family in the evening. Sometimes the non essential things don't get done and that is okay!

By slowing down and not filling up our schedule, I have found that it is not only good for me but also for my children too. They are not over scheduled with involvement in too many extracurricular activities. They have time to enjoy being children. Even before I became ill, my husband and I decided that we would not allow our children to be involved in too many things. We did not want our children to grow up feeling pressured and overwhelmed and too busy to enjoy their childhoods.

We have been practicing the art of slowing down this summer for sure. We have been sleeping in, spending our days at the pool, watching movies, taking evening walks. Just enjoying summer and enjoying family time. My husband has been able to work his second job a bit less and has been able to spend time with us more. That's been wonderful!

Health wise, I have been feeling a bit better in some ways. My joint and overall body pain seems to always be better in warmer temperatures. I have been having more frequent headaches since the beginning of the year. After a visit with my neurosurgeon to review my recent MRI, he stated that the cerebrospinal fluid flow was adequate so there was nothing surgically that needed to happen. Thankfully! So, he referred me to a headache specialist.

I finally saw that doctor in May and he felt the I have three different types of headaches. I have Chiari headaches which cause pain in the back of my head and are more of a pressure type of pain. I also have migraines which are in the front of my head and cause sharp pain with sensitivity to light, sound and nausea. He also diagnosed me with Occipital Neuralgia. This is where the occipital nerve, which runs up both sides of the back of the skull, gets pinched and causes sharp shooting pain up the back of the head to behind the eye area. I was having this type of pain very frequently and it was awful. He placed me on preventative headache medicine in hopes that it would help prevent the migraines. It has worked really well! He also referred me to a pain management doctor for the occipital neuralgia. 

I had a nerve block done for the occipital neuralgia 2 weeks ago and it has worked so well. I'm also getting some trigger point injections to help with the chronic neck pain. These are working well also.

So that's what's up with me. I hope you enjoy a slower paced and relaxing summer!

Thanks for reading!

~ Sonya ~

Purpose

So I am one of those bloggers who pretty much abandoned her blog for a while. Why, you ask? Well, one reason is that I just got busy with life and raising three kids plus dealing with all the fun that chronic illness throws at me each day.
Honestly though, the main reason was I just couldn't figure out what the focus of my blog was. When I started, I wanted to get my story out there and write about my life with chronic illness. I wanted to bring awareness to the conditions. I wanted to share information I had learned. I wanted to give someone struggling with one of these conditions some hope. I wanted my blog to be a place for someone to find my story and feel less alone as they walked through theirs.
When I first found out I had Chiari Malformation 3 1/2 years ago, I searched endlessly online for other people's stories about having this condition. And the ones that I found helped me so much!

But, after blogging on and off for a while, I really began to question my purpose. I thought, maybe I shouldn't make my blog all about chronic illness. I mean who wants to read about that all the time? Is that too depressing? Should I bring more "fun" into my blog? Maybe sometimes I should try to be one of those "fun" bloggers. You know the ones who have those upbeat posts about the great books they read, fun crafts they made, great outfits they wore, awesome food they cooked. I love to read those!

While I truly knew my purpose when I started, I didn't have the confidence to stick to that. Confidence is always something I've struggled to have in my life. The negative things that play through my head tell me things like, "No one will want to read your blog." And, "Your story will not matter to any one." And, especially this one, "You're no good as a blogger." 

I didn't have the confidence to be the real me. To put myself out there. 

But, then I've gotten comments and emails from people saying that what I have written, my story,  helped them. 

I was so grateful to hear this! If I can truly help even just one person through this, then that will be my greatest accomplishment in sharing my story.  

Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago, when several things I read/listened to gave me a new revelation. A new outlook on what my purpose is as a person living with chronic illness and as a blogger. From this new outlook came a confidence that I hadn't had before. I believe that when you are clear on your purpose in something, the negative things begin to take a backseat to all the positive things you are hoping to do.
I have realized that my purpose truly is to do those very things that I started out wanting to do.
I want to reach out to others who are living with the same conditions as well as others whom are living with any physical illness.
I want to raise awareness for the conditions I struggle with because they are not well known, well understood, well researched.
I want to help everyone understand what life is like when you have "invisible illness" and how to relate to people with any illness whether visible or invisible. We all just need to be kind to one another! Every one has a burden they are carrying. Every one has a story. A kind word, a smile go such a long way in brightening the day of another person!
I am not supposed to be anyone else but me.
I need to be real about my life.
I need to share the good and the bad. 

God has allowed these physical conditions in my life and I know he wants me to use them to help others. And that is just what I hope to do!

I know this post was long but I wanted to share where I've been and what is on my heart with you.
Thank you for reading!

Blessings,
~Sonya